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We usually write to find out what it is we want to say, not to say what we want, and find the truth somewhere in the middle of that struggle between self-delusion and desire for integrity.

onceuponavanillalatte...
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I was standing in my small apartment kitchen, pouring water into my coffee when I heard my husband’s keys scratching the lock.  He was coming home after a night shift at Jacobi’s ER roughly thirty minutes after I had woken up.  I stirred my coffee as he passed me to strip off his “gross hospital clothes.” 

“Someone is alive because of me!” he announced and I realized I hadn’t even had the chance to ask him what I always do when he gets home: “Did you save anyone’s life today?”

It excites me that this is our household, that my husband spends his work hours improving and saving strangers’ lives.  

I used to think about the kind of home I’d want to raise my children in.  An honest home, a home devoted to kindness, trust, love, compassion for others, nurturing to creativity and intellectual pursuits.  Now I think about the home my husband and I have—the home in which we will raise our children—and there’s nothing more I could ask for.  (Except maybe to have the children, but that’s between me and him.)